Meal time for Aspie Kids

Meal time is a very difficult time for parents of children with Asperger's Syndrome. Imagine the autistic child who is obsessed with neatness and order. Well, Aspies have a similar trait in that they must have things just as they envision it in their head, or they "lose it" with meltdowns. An Aspie meltdown is unmatched by a "neuro-typical" (non-Aspie) child's meltdown. It involves absolute doom and gloom, as though they just lost their best friend or the most un-just thing in the world has just happened to them. They feel it sincerely and aren't just acting out.

So I thought I'd share a few simple tips that have helped our mealtime to be as enjoyable as possible.

First, we engage every single meal with the same set of plates. If I had thought ahead, I would've bought them all in the same color, so that wouldn't be an issue for every single meal! I mean, you expect that in a three year old, but Aspie kids tend to hold on to these issues longer into life. The good news is that they (insha'Allah) eventually outgrow them. This is all part of them fighting change and a very strong need for control over their environment.

The plates we use have dividers, so that there are three compartments for their food. Three nice, neat compartments, lol. They can't STAND having the food touch one another, and this is an excellent tool for that.

In addition, the three compartments has lended itself to a pretty good method of introducing new foods. As anyone with Aspies will tell you - Aspies are typically resistant to trying new foods. They will literally eat the same exact foods every day if you let them!

So, what we do, is use two compartments to place foods we KNOW they'll eat and then use the third compartment to introduce a new food or to put food we know they resist, to help them get more exposure to it. My pickiest eater has learned to pick at the third compartment of food, which is a huge step for us. Eventually, after picking at a particular food for a few meals, he makes a breakthrough and will accept a new food.

I know that this might sound like no big deal to most parents, but if your kids have Asperger's Syndrome, this topic is huge, because sometimes our whole lives revolve around preventing their meltdowns.

The real joy comes with patience and persistance, and then watching it pay off, little by little. You have to have realistic expectations and adjust them for each child.