The "Three Times" Rule

Aspies live by rules. This accounts for what is described as "rigidity to rules" and "stubbornness." Each aspie has their own "set of life rules" that they constantly apply to situations.

Our family has a "three times" rule for alot of things for our children. For instance, if the child is learning something new, something that NT (neurotypicals/non-Aspies) take for granted and practically do instinctually, we apply this "three times" rule.

I think it is an important rule, because after all the work I do for them to get it right once, and all the work they do to stick to it, it goes a long way to re-inforce the success by repeating it immediately.

Which means: show me three times in a row that you can do something new, and not until then will I let you do it without my supervision.

My kids used to want to give up the second they get it. But now, they tend to remember that I'm going to ask them to do it several more times, with a consistent goal for them. They actually become more determined to complete it three times in a row, but they used to fall apart if I asked them to do it again.

If three times in a row is too hard at the time, I reduce it to just getting it (whatever "it" is) right three times at all. If that's too hard, we quit, because I don't want them to become too frustrated. I like to keep learning as fun as possible.

These rules are good for the following (once they've been able to get it right at least once):

• tying their shoe
• brushing their teeth
• combing a lock of hair
• practicing social skills in pretend conversation (like proper greetings, please/thank you)
• shaking hands
• any goal you have. reinforcement is important, and having this consistent rule is very important for an Aspie.
  

Your consistent rule could be something other than three times, but I do hope this gives you ideas to help organize an Aspie's life. :)